Tuesday, July 10, 2012

You found me.

Look at yourself, reader. Let's be honest: we could both be making better use of our time. For some reason which I suggest you document in the comment box below, you have happened upon my very first blog post. If you value your time in the least, I would hope you've put me on probation by now. If your hunger for entertainment is not satisfied in due time, I invite you to abandon my domain and seek amusement elsewhere. In these times, that's the only sensible way to browse the internet: indecisively, noncommittally. 

Reader, if you're to become better acquainted with me, I must immediately address the topic of my dislikable character. The traits which I posses and most admire are as follows: stern candor, humor dry as Chardonnay, keen perception, effectual intellect, unyielding integrity, malignant sumpsimus, and temperance. I have a habit of informing others of their own ignorance, and all hopes of breaking the habit are presently diminishing. Though it serves as a contradiction to my receptiveness, I govern myself by a paradigm which, more often than not, grants me the self-confirmation that my way is the best way. What's not to love? 

My mission, dear reader, is to study you and your inconsequential existence. I don't care who you are, but I'm fascinated by your human tendencies. Your political opinions, occupations, mannerisms, hygiene, morals... as dull as they all may be, there are blogs to be made of them. There are lessons to be learned. There are reasons to hope that somewhere in our universe, intelligent life has made a better name for itself.